Unwanted

Angry and sad I attempted to call you.

Phone rang til the end.

I texted you, you and you.

Nobody cared and nobody replied.

You, answered my call.

Finally, I burst into tears spurt out all my feelings

You coldly replied you were watching movie outside.

I kept silence.

Again and again I went through my contact list

Wondering who to unwrap my sorrow.

Searching for so called friends.

The feeling is so depressing

The feeling of unwanted, of being extra, of being value-less.

Crouching to myself I realised that I dont really have friends.

I have been keeping myself away from people.

Have been isolating myself from my usual friends.

And now then, if she were not there for me, I have nobody.

I relied alot on her.

And today I experienced the fear.

The sadness.

Who am I to say all these to people?

Reaching home I looked at them,

all in pairs.

Twinkle and Ky

Daphne and Yin yin.

Wanted to talk to Shi Ying.

I knocked and opened the door.

And saw Lavinia sitting on the floor.

They were studying together.

Everyone has their friend beside them.

Except me.

I wished I could travel back to the past.


To early 2012-When I have Ruby as my friend.

To 2007-2011-When I have both Alicia and Shien Ping

To 2006-When I have Alicia

To 2000-2005- When I have Penny

Here in A levels, I have nobody.

I'm the odd one out.

Without Kinji, I dont even dare to disturb Stephy and Vicky.

What happened to me?

I felt lonely and unwanted everytime she's not beside me.

I never felt that before.

Maybe, its because God never left me alone in the past and now our relationship is broken.

That's what people told me.

I dont know.

All I know is I felt empty.

EMPTY and UNWANTED.